Starting your healing journey can be a difficult time. You know you want and need to change but you feel confused about so many things. You may feel confused about your feelings. You may also put yourself down a lot as you feel that you haven’t progressed as well as you had hoped. This is the start of your journey that I hope you continue regardless of how you feel right now. I have had to address in this article some issues that may come up for you that could hinder your journey. Also, other things to hopefully reassure you and help you understand why you may find change difficult.
Why should change take so long?
You might have started therapy but feel worried that after several sessions of counselling, you are going yoga, you are on antidepressants, you feel that you are trying to do a lot of things right. Remember that your trauma didn’t happen overnight. It took years to build up and get to where you are right now. You just need patience to give yourself time to heal.
Treat the cause not just the symptoms
We hear so often about quick fix methods of healing that promises a quick recovery. I am not against a number of these things as they can work for some people. For an effective solution to trauma, you need to heal what caused your anxiety, addiction, anger etc. When you heal the cause, you don’t need to let it affect your life anymore, you won’t always be an addict or always be in recovery. Very often people feel they have an “addictive personality”, for example, or say that this is how I am. When you understand yourself more and why you are you, you can change it.
Just attending therapy sessions isn’t enough
Trauma affects your mind, body, spirit which often shows itself in your environment. It is about looking at your lifestyle that could also be contributed to how you are feeling. You will find that changes need to be made to your day to day life. These changes even though they will be difficult will be for the better.
In other words what you do in between sessions is just as important as what you Talk about with your therapist.
Discipline and routine is important
In order to change, it requires being disciplined. You need to organise your days and time around your healing. It also needs to be a priority. You also need to be consistent with it. do what needs to be done daily, weekly, monthly etc.
Also, will it start to work you don’t just start. Healing is a lifestyle choice. For example, you don’t just brush your teeth and saying my teeth is fine I don’t need to brush him again. if you were to do that you won’t have healthy teeth for very long. in order to keep your teeth healthy, you need to stick to a routine of looking after your teeth. This is the same for your emotional health.
“I don’t like blaming my parents”
It’s not about blaming, unless that is clearly what you want to do, it is just about understanding where you have come from. this process will help you to be kinder to yourself and not blame yourself with things that weren’t your fault.
Take care of your health
Be aware of any health issues whether there are minor, acute or chronic. There is so much research that backs how our bodies responds to stress and trauma. How you are feeling will affect your health even if it includes frequent colds, headaches, period problems, stomach problems etc.
Trust the help you are given
A lot of the times we are skeptical about what works or doesn’t. The work I do is based on science, history, philosophy etc. With a network of other very piece working the same way, over the years we have supported thousands of people who we have helped.
Accept that change is difficult
There could be several things making your healing challenging. Such as not being sure what to do, lack of finances, too much information and opinions.
The main challenge is us and changing our habits. New good habits will support the new life we desperately crave.
Try not to feel overwhelmed
This could put you off starting all make you give up before it starts to work. You may hope to reach a certain point in your life but because it seems so far away, you may feel it too much and give up on yourself. Just remember that small baby steps is all that is needed to make progress. it is okay to make mistakes, it is okay to take steps backwards, you may feel you were going around in circles. all these feelings are normal.
Be careful with your energy
If you imagine an old-fashioned set of scales, on the one side you have your past, your recent problems, any health issues, traumas, even therapy itself etc. You need to understand that in order to address that imbalance, you need to be mindful off what drains you. You will already feel drained from these issues so if you add further negativity to you it could feel unbearable.
The only way to balance this out is with self-care. You need to be mindful are you look after yourself the food you eat, sleep patterns, toxic people. all those things that can drain you and cause further imbalances in your life.
Try not to compare yourself to others
Have they been through what you have been through?
Have the experienced the life you lived?
You can let people inspire and motivate you. Those who share some of your experiences, it might help you knowing that they have made it, so can you.
It’s all a learning process
Know that you have just started your healing journey and you will learn lots about yourself and others. don’t be fixated on having absolute opinions on things you don’t need to. You can change your mind on things when you choose.
Do things despite your fears
Fear can hamper us in so many ways
“The best things in life are on the other side of terror, on the other side of your maximum fear, are all of the best things in life.”
“Feel the fear and do it anyway”
Believe it or not this is an exciting time for you as you can become anything you want to be