Every sort of trauma affects you emotionally, whether it is physical trauma experienced as a child, an adult or both. Many find it way easier to heal the physical side. However, when it comes to emotional injuries, it is often hard to know what to do, where to start, how to move on with your life. You may have been on medication for years which has helped to manage some of the affects of your trauma. But you still feel traumatised despite this. If you are looking for alternative methods and self help strategies, my articles may help.
Also, this month I would be uploading more blogs and Instagram posts on this topic. So please remember to subscribe to my mailing list and my Instagram post so you could be notified when I upload.
Accepting where you are right now in your life
This is a tough but important one as you can’t change what you hide. I’m not saying you need to acknowledge it to the world but just quietly to yourself. Accept the truth of where you are in your life right now. When you feel confident enough, you can share your feelings with safe people who would accept where you are as well.
If you feel in the gutter
If you feel totally overwhelmed
You may feel rage and anger over what’s happened to you and the perpetrator seems to be getting away with it
You may see everyone else’s life and feel upset that everyone seems to be passing you by, but have they been through what you have been through. You know what you have been through, all the hurt and pain that you didn’t have the words to express how it affected you.
You may have a mask on to the world constantly trying to put a positive spin on things but deep down you feel that your life is shit.
You may feel ashamed, guilt, worried but just accept where you are and don’t worry about how you are going to do all at this stage because you don’t need to do it all at once to start feeling better.
Just acknowledge to yourself that you are hurting, you are afraid, I’m angry, I’m disappointed. What ever you are feeling, it is OK.
Feel the fear and do it anyway
Fear can often paralyse us from making a start. We could feel afraid about a lot of things including afraid we will make the same mistakes again
You might feel afraid that things won’t work out the way we want them to
We might also worry other people think about us
We may crave the life that we had so much in the past that because we feel that we won’t get that again we fear what we will get instead
There are so many things that could make us feel scared
The good news is that fear does not need to stop you from making a start. Fear is just a feeling it does not need to affect your life. Fear is also not always a reality of what is going on in your life or of what will happen. the only difference between someone who is successful, and someone is feel stuck is that the person that is successful does not let fear stop them from doing what they want to do. most people feel fear but it’s about letting it stop you.
Feeling fear does not mean you should not do what you want to do.
Again, just admitting your fear will help. Maybe start by checking the words that you say to yourself as what you say to yourself will make you feel worse.
Try and say reassuring words to yourself, even if you don’t 100% believe them, it does help. You can say things like, I feel afraid, but I will be OK
Look after your body
Your health, even if you are not fully aware of it, is just as influenced in some way just as our emotional health. It can start with minor illnesses, such as sleep problems, headaches or migraines, stomach problems, emotional eating, poor appetite etc
Poor nutrition, excessive alcohol lack of sleep and health issues will drain our energy levels and weaken our efforts in moving on with our lives.
Again, you don’t need to start with a lot to start to feel better. Maybe it just means cutting a few things from your diet. Reducing your sugar intake will help. I know a lot of us like a lot of sugary snacks or alcohol when we are feeling down but this lift in good feelings that sugary things give us is not very long. We then not long after start to feel sad again.
The other side to this is to try and keep things simple as you would be more likely to continue it. Try and have simple nutritious meals that are quick to make, easy to digest like porridge, Weetabix, baked potatoes, baked beans on toast, soups, coconut water, bananas, wholebread sandwiches, rice, salads, bio live yogurts. Also remember that you don’t need to stick to a certain meal type to a certain time of day. If you want a sandwich for breakfast that’s OK. Porridge for dinner is fine as well. The whole point is to try and have a routine of healthy food that you can stick to. The routine and the stability are more important than what you are eating.
Going back to sleep, one way to make sure you’re getting enough sleep is to set a regular bedtime and stick to it. If you have trouble getting into bed on time, try setting an alarm on your phone.
Write down a list of healthy food that you would enjoy eating. Ensure that it is nutritious and easy to cook. Ask a friend or family member for ideas.
Look after your mind
To begin with, you may find reciting affirmations difficult, but you may get more from listening to guided meditation which will help you to relax, help improve your sleep and provide some encouraging uplifting words at the same time.
You can start off listening to meditation that is only a few minutes long. The most important thing is to do it regularly. It is better to do it five minutes a day, every day rather than one hour once a week. The repetition and habit that you are forming is what will help you.
Read also my previous article on breathing techniques
This includes watching crappy T.V. programmes that causes you more anxiety and stress. So, reduce the amount of news programmes you watch. Think to yourself, what can I do about what is happening in the news anyway? Is it making me positive and encouraged?
Also, feel free to avoid certain people both face to face and on social media. You don’t need that drain on your energy.
Check what the t.v. programme is about before you watch it. Avoid programmes that give the following warnings: “contains disturbing images” “may upset some viewers” “contains violence” etc
Try to move more
Does not necessarily mean exercise as this could be a part of it. Sometimes, when we hear the word exercise, that could be off putting in itself.
Movement could include going for a brisk walk
Doing some stretches
Ensuring you are not sitting down for too long
The point here that when you finish it, if it does not make you feel any better then maybe you have chosen the wrong activity. Movement should make you feel better as it gets your feel-good hormones going.
There is so much you can try from and many don’t need to cost you any money.
Choose at least one form of movement and try and do it for at least 15 minutes five days a week. Find a friend you can buddy with.
Have more fun
Try out a new hobby or find something enjoyable to do. It’s important to have fun to reduce boredom and build your social circle. It will also enrich your life and make it more enjoyable. Many individuals feel a sense of loss or loneliness understand that It will take some time to feel normal again, but it can be done. Just give yourself the time and space to try new things.
Ideas for fun include
Watching a comedy film or dvd
Going to the fun fair
Going to a wellness event
Attending a spa
A day in the countryside or at the beach
Go to a park
Go with a friend for a coffee at a local cafe
Choose one fun activity that you can try to do for about 15 – 30 minutes per day.