Very often, we are resistant to explore the past. You may think that past is the past and it’s best left there. Or may be your past is too painful to revisit and you would find this difficult. You feel that you have had a great childhood and don’t have any issues worth exploring. Self-exploration using Psychodynamic Therapy with a supportive, non-judgemental therapist gets to the heart of your problems and what is really hurting to you hurt you Renowned psychologist such as Freud and Maslow both agree that this is the key to good mental health. Read more about Psychodynamic Therapy and what it is here. Whatever the reason, this article will provide ten reasons why exploring your past and your root issues will benefit you:
1. Understand why you are you
Most of our issues are rooted in our past childhood experiences. We may have had problems more recently, but our childhood has shaped how we see ourselves and other people which in turn affects how we react to current problems. “Until you have named your demon, your shortcoming, your sickness, it will continue to have power over you”.
2. Reach the point of understanding not blame
Very often, we blame ourselves with so much disdain and self-loathing because of some of our habits or behaviours or because we are not where we want to be in our lives. if we understand fully where we have come from, we will understand how we have got here. We will then be able to let go of some of that blame and replace it with more compassion and higher self-esteem.
3. Understand your values and beliefs
We don’t often realise that we take on the values and beliefs of our families and culture. if we go question or challenge it will affect us for the rest of our lives.
just ask yourself this
Do you know what your values and beliefs are?
Are you clear about what your values and beliefs are?
Do you know if your beliefs and values are harming you?
Do you know you can change them?
As a child we have no option but to adopt the values and beliefs of our families. As adult we have the choice to change them
4. Enable you to have a voice
Sometimes, due to one thing or another, we were not listened to as a child. This may have caused a lot of things to build up inside of us like an overinflated balloon, ready to pop. This can often show itself in form off having a quick temper, been very impatient, having dark mood swings for no clear reason, having low tolerance to stress etc. Or just feeling that no one gives a damn so there’s no point in talking. So, you share nothing with anyone you keep everything to yourself and you are totally overwhelmed.
You can share this with me.
5. On the surface you had a great childhood and can't understand why you have issues
If you did not experience overt sexual abuse or physical abuse. If on the surface your parents seemed kind and loving it may be difficult to understand how your past could have affected you. By exploring this with me you will find answers. Given time to explore, we will work this out you after clear understanding of why you have your issues
6. You may have problems with relationships or finding someone that is right for you
The Attachment Theory was developed by someone called John Bowlby . He believed that babies and young children need to have they needs responded to consistently, sensitively and appropriately. if we don’t have our needs met from our parents, this will affect how we relate to up other people.
The reach approach looks at something called the 3 A’s attention affirmation affection. it believes that if you lacked any of the 3A’s during, childhood, you will try and spend the rest of your life trying to get it back even if what we’re doing is negative and not always good for you.
It will be worth looking at your very early years. For example, what was happening to your parents when you were born, did they have any mental health issues, were they struggling. Any sort of stress your parents were under, may have affected their ability to parent you as well as they could.
You can’t change your past this will help you to have a new understanding of yourself and to move forward giving yourself what you need. not just what you were taught to give yourself.
7. You don't love yourself and you don't understand why
By learning about the good things about yourself, understanding how you have survived a lot of a lot and that you as a child at a lot to cope with, you will then learn to love yourself more. you have a new found appreciation of yourself that you are a survivor
8. You have help before but it has not worked
You have attended all the anger management courses, relapse prevention for your addiction, AA, anxiety management but they have not helped or it may have helped that problem but now you are getting another problem.
This could be several reasons. For example, I find that when, for example, people come for help with addiction, it is not about the addiction, but it could be anxiety, or unexpressed anger etc. It is a bit like trying to sort out damp in your house. You could fix the symptoms of damp but before long the symptoms will come back. If you got to where the root of where the problems starts, that will resolve it and prevent it from happening again.
9. You want to forgive your past but can't
In most circumstances, you can’t forgive because there is a lot of stuff that’s not recognise and understood so it can’t be healed. Berry still a lot of hidden pain there that needs venting and the outcome would be forgiveness. forgiveness is the event after a long process of healing not the other way around. true forgiveness healing of all your hurt and pain needs to be done
10. Time has not healed your wounds
You try to carry on, but it is becoming harder and harder. you know you still carry wounds from your childhood trauma you carry on as best as you can, but life experiences are just adding to that
When you heal some of your childhood trauma, this will help you to cope better with your current problems and life challenges.
If you wish to talk further with about this type of therapy with me, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I offer a free 15 minute, no obligation session over the phone, email or skype.